When I was in high school I used to date the bassist of a local punk band. Punk was having a major moment and I was the good girl who all the teachers loved because I probably asked for extra homework. Here’s the thing, when I started dating the bassist, I was suddenly interesting. Not interesting because I was an artist, interesting because I was suddenly in this “scene,” that people couldn’t logically associate me with. I never thought of myself as boring, but people never wanted to give me a chance, just based off the perception of who I was. The punks didn’t give a shit what other people think, they were against authority, conformity, labels, societal expectations, class systems—everything. Who was I? Everything they thought they knew about me was shaken up. Truth be told, I liked this part of myself, but the other truth is, I was never this good girl I pretended to be, I just didn’t want people to really know who I was. I hid behind the good grades, the soft and sweet disposition, and behaved the way people expected me to behave.

Did I chop all my hair off, get a duck butt, a neck piercing, and suddenly decide not to shower or shave? Not that there's anything wrong with that (you do you and I love you for it), but no, I still liked being feminine, and I still liked school; I just happened to like the people in punk music and what it stood for. I found their ideas liberating, and to this day, I thought that this movement helped define a generation that didn’t all want the 2.5 kids and the three car garage. It was freedom on how to think, feel, and love. Did I ever fit in with the punks or the preps? Not that I cared, but no, I didn’t fit in with either group. I didn’t want to define myself as one-dimensional because I think humans are complex.

I finally went on to art school in college and found a group of people who I really felt completed me. But, I think the point of this is that we don’t need to define ourselves in any aesthetic or group. Be whoever the fuck you want, and allow yourself to open up to different groups of people, because you may find that you are more than what you or everyone else thinks you are.

xx